PantsOptional4Pirates

Published in Turkey - Social interactions and entertainment - 04 Sep 2016 08:08 - 8


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Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:

As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians - I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

Turkish sultan Mehmed IV

The Cossacks' reply came as a stream of invective and vulgar rhymes, parodying the Sultan's titles:

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

O sultan, Turkish devil and ed devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a , make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, your mother.
You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-er of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

The sultans anger was quite hard, like my donger at the morning, he did switched to his seconderry acc and wrote a lets ban ukranians because they were offensive against Turkish, he also voted the article with his 4000 fake account... Somethings never change.... So Turkis is trolled for about 800 years constantly :)

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Comments (8)

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I always enjoy reading these old love letters.
v
99% of the turks be like... wut?
Useless
haha, in english its even more funny than original xD